I was going to get rid of my smartphone. It was a massive step for me, and I did tons of thinking and planning to make it happen. The anticipation of this step filled me with a lot of emotion and strength. With this burst of inspiration, I shared my decision with my family and friends. They were very proud of my choice and in awe of my decision to undertake such a hard thing.

Then the flip phone arrived. It was a huge pain. I knew it would be, but I hated it. Phone calls were difficult, I missed WhatsApp, and my messages were hard to listen to and access. I was miserable. I know so many people who took this plunge and kept to it. They managed—and so would I.

Pushing myself to get used to it, I trudged through the first month, feeling depressed. I really wanted to do this great thing, but the challenge was making me feel defeated. I was also embarrassed to fail and be judged by everyone I shared my decision with.

After several more frustrating weeks, I caved and took my SIM card out of my flip phone and inserted it back into my smartphone. Scrolling through it, I felt relief and disgust. I was back to this? Others did it, but I couldn’t?

Then I decided to make some real changes. Even though I couldn’t deal with the flip phone at this point in my life, I could still do everything I could to clean out my smartphone. I uninstalled everything from my phone except for phone calls and text messages. In essence, it did less than my flip phone had—but it worked.

So even though I feel like I failed, in truth, I made significant changes in my technology use. My phone was so boring, I barely used it except for true needs. So though I feel a bit like a failure for not sticking to the flip phone, I am still a strong person who is still fighting the fight of technology servitude. And who knows? Maybe at some point I can try again when I feel ready. For now, at least I am better off than I used to be.